Sunday, July 4, 2010
Phew, I am glad Matthew is finally asleep! This separation anxiety he is going through is killing me. If I even think about leaving the room, he has a meltdown. I feel so bad for him, but I have such a small window to get housework done between treatments, medicines, meals, baths, dressing changes, and g-tube hook ups. Some days I feel like I am running in circles between all three kids and never stopping to give any of them my full attention. Then the mommy guilt settles in and I vow to do better the next day. It is hard being nurse, respiratory therapist, housekeeper, wife and mommy to 3 all at the same time! I talked to the pediatrician about Matthew's separation anxiety and tried the things she suggested. Things were getting better for awhile and then he went into the hospital and now it's worse than ever before. I'll just keep telling myself that it means I am doing a good job since he looks to me for comfort. Hopefully, I can get him out of this phase before Abby and Michael come home. I am so thankful that they are staggering their discharge dates, so I can ease back into things. Abby comes home on Wednesday. I am glad, but at the same time, that leaves Michael in the hospital alone during the day. I hate that I can't be with him, but I have to be here for the other two. I am constantly pulled in so many different directions. I am not complaining though, I am truly blessed to have such amazing children. I just wish there were more of me to go around. I really need to clone myself!!