Tuesday, June 29, 2010
What a day it has been! Michael was accidentally given Abby's dose of Timentin so he got double the amount he was supposed to get. I had to meet with the nursing coordinator and the quality review specialists to put some plans in place to ensure that never happens again. They are going to color coordinate all the meds from now on. I know that it is confusing having 3 patients in the same room with the same last name but I am irritated nonetheless. Hopefully we have it straightened out now and the nurses take it as a learning experience. I have a lot on my mind today. Some days I wish I could see into the future and know what it holds for my children. Maybe it's a good thing that I can't because I don't know if I could handle what I see. I have so many questions swirling through my mind right now. Will Michael make it on the transplant list?, will he survive long enough to receive one?, and if he does, will it be successful? Will Abby grow old enough to have children of her own someday and if she does, will she live long enough to see them grow? Will Matthew's disease be as severe as Michael's? Will a cure come in time to save them? Is it sad that I pray every day that I die before my children? I don't pray for death for MYSELF but I pray for a long, healthy life for THEM. I try to tell myself that we are not facing a double lung transplant right now, but the reality is, we will be in the near future. Maybe it takes that long to prepare for something of that magnitude. Hopefully tomorrow I can be more upbeat but the reality of being a cf parent is that it's a roller coaster ride and some days are better than others.